It seems summer is here...what happened to spring?

I missed blogging last week!!! :(
Our weather has been unpredictable to say the least.  One day cold, next day warm, it's no wonder the kids are sniffling between allergies and colds!! I think I should have shares in the kleenex company!
I am not complaining infact I am happy!! The sun is shining, it's warm and I don't need to bundle up myself and the kids in layers upon layers of clothes.  Boots have been replaced with sandals and I FINALLY get to go barefoot again!!! YEAH!!!!

I think I suffered through a minor depression the past month maybe even two months.  The weather was gray and so was my mood.  I would cry in the shower and just beg for a release.  I could not really give a reason why I was in such a slump.  I was short with my kids, tired, no energy, so really a not so great person to be around.  Mood has lifted, sun is shining and it's the medicine that was so desperately needed. 
My bible study group has ended for the summer.  I am so upset when this happens, although I must admit I could have skipped small group this session, the study was wonderful that we did and I gained a lot however I didn't find myself enjoying the small group as much as I had in previous sessions.  I feel guilty in even saying that but it's the truth. 

We end in April and break until September. 
This break is far too long for me.  I wish we just kept on trucking right through the summer.  I find myself longing for the bible study.  I tend to "lose" focus when I am not involved in a bible study......so the solution.....do a bible study over the summer!!!  My sweet friend (she is the best and I can't tell her this enough times, she is my rock when it comes to gaining a deeper relationship with Christ) is joining me on this study!!  We can keep each other on track, focused and be there to encourage one and other.  The study we decided on is by Linda Dillow called Calm My Anxious Heart.

I am so super excited!!! Over the top thrilled, then I opened the study and realized it's going to be another one of those, get to the heart of the matter and deal with it kind of studies, which is just what I need. 
TRUST IN THE LORD!!!  TRUST TRUST TRUST!!!  I will eventually get it!

One of the questions is "Do you think most women try to control or manipulate people and circumstances?  If yes, why?"

Well...what do you think?  Do we as women try to control/manipulate people and circumstances?

Go out and be a blessing to someone this week, a smile, a brief hello is all it may take!!

Goal Setting + Doing = Getting

How to go from fat and fabulous to fit and fabulous....Okay that is a bit of an exaggeration.  I am not "fat" however when I look in the mirror, I see someone who is longing to be back to her 120 lb frame, is not comfortable with her current weight and has a whole long way to go to get there.  I will not reveal what I am currently weighing in at- (personally I am convinced my scale is broken), but I am also living here in the real world and know that going down to 120 lbs is not really going to ever happen, no matter how well I eat, how much I exercise, long gone are the days of 120 lbs. 
However, with some serious dedication, consistently doing my yoga (Gosh I really love Rodney Yee's programs) and getting yelled at by Jillian Michaels, I will reach my fitness goals, my new ideal weight and just generally better health-oh yes and getting to bed at a regular time may just aid in this whole fitness/health goal setting :)
I know I am on the right track as I sit here munching on my spinach salad with berries.  I have to continue to drink as much water as I can, I actually crave it now and can feel when my body is thirsty.  The sweetest thing my eldest daughter said to me the other day was "Mommy, you're belly is going down".  I guess I could have been hurt but I chose to take it just as she meant it, Mommy is making positive changes.  I was actually happy she noticed.  She is only 9.  Just as I like to dole out the positive things I notice for them, she gave it back to me and that is a sweet and precious gift.  The fact is I never discuss weight issues with them.  I eat healthy food (cheating occasionally) and exercise.  If I set the example, they will follow. 
This is my issue, not theirs. 
Why did I call myself fat at the beginning of this blog entry...that is clearly the evil voice called self-doubt that lives in my head.  It is an uphill battle to get out of those quicksand negative thoughts.  If only I had a branch to hold onto....guess what, I do!!!!  I have a most amazing partner whom I love dearly and who continues to boost me up, he is patient, loving, kind and a genuine cheerleader.  He gets in the pit and fights to pull me up each and every single day not that I need that every day but he is there and willing.  I am a blessed woman. 
Count your blessing each and every single day. 
Go out and be a blessing to someone!!! You may never know what your kind word or smile could do for someone, but God does.

Goals - excuses = reality

This week has been up, down and everything in between!!! 
I have been really bad at waking up in the morning to do my yoga or doing any of my exercise during the day.  A bit was done, scattered and  I am disappointed with myself.  I have a goal, I know what I need to do to accomplish it and here I am being lazy.  I can give the 1000 or so excuses on why I didn't get up and do my exercises but it will all boil down to an excuse.
I have the time, but I am not making the time.  I also did not make the proper time to spend with God.  Yes, I did spend some time, did some of my readings, and wrote in my devotional only once or twice. 

Why did I blurt out all of this seemingly irrelevant information?!?!?! 

Well this week has probably been one of my worst weeks as far as patience, understanding, alertness, calmness-I can go on but I think you get my point!!!  So what does this mean, what have I learned?  (Funny enough, my cousin just blogged about this very thing....check it out http://www.declareit.ca/failing-a-path-to-success/ )

So back to my lessons learned-
First SPEND TIME WITH GOD, meaningful, heartfelt, head in the game time.  Do not spend time with him just to do a daily check mark in the devotional box.  If you aren't spending the proper time with him, you will feel empty, sad, alone, frustrated and generally not settled within yourself.
Second DO MY EXERCISES the more exercising I do, the better I feel.  If I do the morning yoga stretch I feel balanced, centered and ready to take on the day.  Build up a sweat with Jillian Michaels, proud of my accomplishment, being able to push through her intense 30 day shred routine.  Working through the Gaiam yoga for weight loss and finally being able to do the complete flows (routines) without stopping AND the next morning feeling that muscle pain of using muscles I haven't been otherwise using ( I LOVE THAT FEELING).

My eating habits have pretty much maintained which is a positive thing.  Less wheat, more conscience choices, lots of water.  I feel better in that.

1COR 6:19Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own

BE A BLESSING TO SOMEONE THIS WEEK

Too many blessings to count and thankful for them all

This week has passed quickly.  I am trying to slow down, enjoy life and be still with myself and still in the presence of God.  I am learning to listen for and hear when God is speaking to me.  There have been many times that I am sure God has spoke to me and I have either ignored that pull in my heart (now that I am aware  more aware of God's presence, it hurts when I don't listen), or just was unaware that it was God speaking. 
How does God speak to you? 


My amazing devotional



As I sat with my coffee and devotional the other morning, I asked for stillness, to hear the little things that I otherwise miss and I was slowly able to drown out the stomping of the children, the noise from the dishwasher and pretty much everything else but then out of nowhere I heard a bird sing.  A beautiful song to my ears.  I thought how blessed am I that God has allowed me to hear the bird chirp through the rest of this chaos I call life. 
I have also come to realize that God speaks to me through my readings whether it be Jesus Calling, Jesus Today or my newest favourite Mixed Blessings.  I may skip a reading, not intentionally mind you but things just seem to happen...and then I will read the passage I missed and doesn't it relate to what has gone on or what is currently happening.  Now that my eyes are opening, the chips are being knocked off the shoulder, the heart is open(ing) and my fists are slowly unclenching (WOW, don't I sound like an uber fun person?!?!) I am feeling, seeing and experiencing the blessings that were passing me by.
Last night Super G (that's my honey) and I were blessed with fellowship beyond compare-we didn't want the evening to end!!!  We are feeling so blessed to have D & S in our lives and the lives of our children.  Super G commented that they have so much wisdom.  I feel like we are just lapping up all their greatness; love for each other, love for others, their affection towards our children and most of all their commitment and dedication to the Lord.  Suzie Q has helped me find grace in many situations, and I truly don't know if she knows how much her friendship and sisterhood has affected me in such a positive way. 
Today, I sit at work and watch many situtations that could just be avoided if these people would come to know God and be present in his presence. 
May you be a blessing to someone today.

Modern Brady Bunch: Reflective and Emotional

Modern Brady Bunch: Reflective and Emotional: I need to back track a little bit...I have been HORRIBLE at blogging, I do mean HORRIBLE.  I really, truly do have the fullest intentions of...

Reflective and Emotional

I need to back track a little bit...I have been HORRIBLE at blogging, I do mean HORRIBLE.  I really, truly do have the fullest intentions of blogging but whether it's a mind block or something else, I never seem to get to do it. So hello, welcome!!!

Thursday evening- We attended our Church for the Maundy Thursday Dinner.  Our Church is so wonderful-interactive stations for the children (and adults) to learn and understand more of Jesus' life and death, family style dining and an overall feel of WELCOME.  At the end of the dinner, my beautiful 7 year old came up and said "Mommy, can I please wash your feet", the tears started.  How precious a gift is she?  How precious a gift have we all been given?  Then she asked Glenn if she could also wash his feet.  We head over to the foot washing station and this Mama is in tears and my sweet girl says "Mommy, are those tears of joy?", "I love you."  I said they are and that I loved her too.  She then washed Glenn's feet.  When she was done, I asked her if I might wash her feet, she was so thrilled and said that it felt nice. 

Friday morning-Good Friday.  My 5 year old calls it bad Friday and refuses to listen to anyone in regards to how Jesus dying could possibly be good.  She is still young and I do know she will "get it" however I do think it is very sweet that she feels so strongly that Good Friday should be called Bad Friday. 
What is Good Friday to you?  A day off of school/work?  A day to spend with family?  A day of quiet reflection?  A combination of the above.  I haven't really thought about what Good Friday means to me until this year.  Growing up I am sure that I was more excited having the day off from school and work as I got older, although I seem to remember working a whole lot of Good Friday's because it was time and a half?  How priorities have changed!!!
So back to what does Good Friday mean to me-I think it is a time to be thankful and reflective but also spending time with the family and enjoying what we received from our King, our Saviour. 
We attended the Good Friday service, participated in communion, I was once again overcome with emotions.  What Jesus endured for our salvation, no words could EVER come close to describing.  It was a beautiful service.
After service, I went home and wrote in my devotional my thankfulness. 
Then it was time for our family get together.  Our cousins, their children, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters gathered at my Nanny's house for an Easter week-end get together/lunch and egg hunt for the children.  How fun for them.  How awesome to see this amazing group of children running through the open yard searching for Easter eggs and being so excited to find them.  Their eyes open, their spirit shining through and so very free.  It was a fun day, our family is a little lot silly, quite funny (goofy really) and it is evident that we have a strong bond, and a love for each other that is deeply wove.  My Nanny was not feeling well and was unable to make it, which I know would have upset her greatly as there is nothing more that she loves than our family get togethers.  Her grand-children decided we would colour her some Easter pictures to make her feel better (keep in mind we are in our late 20's to early 40's).  I think that sums up my family. 

Saturday- I am working.  Unless you work here you would not believe some of the things that go on but it is my one day a week job outside the home and as long as I stay to my belief system and continue to pray for the people that work here (not all but trust me when I say most) it is really not that bad and hey I am actually able to blog!!!  I am also working through my bible study that we are doing at our Church with Jennifer Rothschild (Missing Pieces) and on my own through the You Version Bible on my IPhone I am doing a parenting study (devotional). 
I am on day 2 of this study and I need to Ask, Read, Reflect and Respond.

Day one-I was to read Deuteronomy 6:6-9.  I read it, wrote it out in my journal and then re-read it, highlighted the parts that were speaking to me.  Here are some of the highlighted words:  commanding you, your minds and hearts, teach, impress upon the hearts of your children, talk of them, bind them, write them.

 
Today's reading (day 2) was from Ephesians 6:2-4.  I did the same thing, read, wrote etc...  Here are today's highlighted words:  Honour, this is the first commandment with a promise, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger, rear them tenderly.

Powerful messages are speaking to me; perhaps even provoking me to change.  Change is a mighty and powerful thing.

I am so thankful for all I have, all I have been given and all I am still yet to receive, all I know is that I am learning (stress on the learning) to let go of the steering wheel and allow the great I am to take control. 

Sending many blessings this wonderful Easter week-end. 

The downside of being cheap

We are going away for the week-end....we are going to shop and I am going to treat myself.  This is going to be great!!!! 
I have no idea who I thought I was going to fool.
Glenn says I have cleardar-yes you read that right...Cleardar also known as clearance radar.  I will infact walk past the full price items and immediately head to clearance.  I couldn't even tell you what was in the non-clearance section. 
I shop at the outlets, warehouse sales, and am always browsing the clearance racks. 
It was realized this week-end that I am frugal (it sounds better than cheap).  I wanted a devotional book- one thousand gifts the devotional- http://onethousandgifts.com/one-thousand-gifts-devotional
and I wouldn't buy it for myself-Glenn got so upset with me because I was buying little things for everyone else but would not take care of myself.
I just have a sense of guilt when I buy things for myself like I am being selfish.
I think it's because I am a Mom, so after them and everyone else I come first.  That's not to say I do not take care of me.  I am working out to Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, doing Yoga in the morning, eating healthier and last but certainly NOT least I am reading my daily devotions and also our Women's group is working through a new study by Jennifer Rothschild-Missing Pieces http://www.jenniferrothschild.com/missingpieces/
What a fabulous study....finding it challenging, but change is growth and it is good.
I am logging off for the night.  Lots to do over March Break with the munchkins.
And in case you are wondering, Glenn took the devotional out of my hands and went and bought it for me.
I love that man.
Blessings
xxoo

Blending Families-the ups/downs

My wonderful love and I blended our families 3 years ago.  This time has been tricky, fun, painful and a growing process that still continues daily. 
We have five children that range in age from 16 to 5...and honestly speaking it is not always a bowl of cherries, maybe more like a chair of bowlies some days.
I picked up a book entitled "Blissfully Blended"-Isn't that the dream really to be blissfully blended.  I think we are doing okay-like I said some days are better than others but that's true in a traditional family structure. 
I now have a teenage daughter and a son who has an autistic spectrum disorder called Aspergers Syndrome.   Glenn on the other hand has three younger children again that are each 20 months apart-not really what he was ready for given that his were definitely more self sufficient and not as "needy" in some ways and just as "needy" in other ways.
So as you see we each have different mind frames coming into this.  I can't speak for my sweetie so this blog is about me and my feeling, views etc.
My three daughters are high energy and very dramatic.  They can be sweet, kind, loving and they can also be the opposite.  They are Mommy's babies and when their Father up and left us (when my youngest was a newborn)-I pulled them in close (perhaps too close) but I wouldn't have had it any other way at the time.  I vowed to them and still do, that Mommy will NEVER leave, Mommy is ALWAYS here.  I love my girls very much and I am truly a Momma bear when it comes to them.
I also love my step-children.  They have accepted me as a part of their life but even then it is not always easy.  I was not ready for a teenager, as a write that I wonder who is really?  They are emotional wrecks and some days you aren't sure if you are being heard or if they even care and the next day a whole new kid appears.  My daughters are still young so all of a sudden having this teenager in my midst was (and still is) a sometimes difficult challenge.  She does however respect me even on the days that she isn't listening or doing what she should be I do know that she does love and respect me.
My step-son has Aspergers Syndrome and like me, most of you are wondering what is that?  Well it's an autistic spectrum disorder.  To look at him you would never really think anything was "wrong".  Although that is a poor word to use "wrong".  He has started to outgrow some of the symptoms of aspergers, like now being able to control some of his stimulatory behaviour.  Each child that has this syndrome is unique and no two cases are alike, similar but not the same.  I think because you don't really see anything "wrong" with him, I have had a much more difficult time accepting the realization that he does do some of the things he does because of this disorder.  I have a harder time relating to him or finding some sort of common ground with him.  It's a work in progress.  I do know if he was more of a boy-boy who liked hockey, baseball etc... I would be the first out with him, shooting the puck or whatever.  I have however taught him to swim, got him on his skates, enrolled in skating lessons, and riding his bike.  He is super smart, especially with his math and sciences but on the flip side he is quite immature for his age.  My dear friend told me he is my grace child.  I am still trying to figure that out.
Sometimes I wonder why God gave me two additional children.  But then again I am not to question, and not to know.  They were given to me and this is God's desire for me to raise these two bonus kids as my own.  As I continue to grow spiritually, I am hoping that I will impress upon these children (all 5 of them) the importance of family and of a relationship with God. 
I am NOT perfect.  I make MANY mistakes.  OFTEN.  I have said many times I am not getting a mother of the year award.  I say things before thinking, or praying. 

"Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips" Proverbs 4:24

I am going to log off for now. 

Blessings from my family to yours.
xo

The sickness cycle

We enjoyed family day by taking the bunch to Science Centre, we got to see "To the Arctic" on the OMNImax  screen...INCREDIBLE!!!! However,  2 of the girls definitely got motion sickness they also had a touch of stomach flu that I did not previously know otherwise we would have skipped the overly insanely busy science centre.  So Monday night those 2 girls were in bed and all day Tuesday I had them home.  Thankfully it was 24 hours and it seems to be gone and all of the kids are in school today!!!  Hoewever this Mama managed to miss the bus that takes two of the kids to school and ended up driving them...a little extra time with the kiddies is a good thing.  If I have ever done anything right in my life it was my babies.  They are the little bursts of sunshine I need.  God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with them. 
Glenn has been amazing and we have been doing so much work around the house....a whole lot of the time I come up with the grand plan and poor Glenn is stuck doing it-he is a trooper, he is wonderful, he is amazing, he is God-sent and he is ALL MINE!!!!
I am a very blessed woman!!
I am exhausted...I feel run down and tired.  I had stomach flu last week and I am wondering if this is my body telling me I am not fully recovered. 
The home still has to "run" so suck it up mama :)
I have Zumba tonight and am looking forward to it.  I need to work out...my body is craving exercise right now. 
I have been getting up and doing my yoga but I need some cardio, abs and weights in there too. 
We are off to get some groceries and fresh air!!!  MUCH NEEDED fresh air...it just may wake me up!!
Wishing you all a blessed day!!

Blah, blah, blah

It's been a week since my last "rant"....today was another intriguing..zzzzz......zzzzzz...oops sorry day at the office.  A freak snow storm hit the city...my fabulous new shoes were exposed to the wet :(  I was soooooooooo sad.  They are actually hanging up to dry...yes I AM A GIRLIE GIRL!!! :)
There is nothing really new and exciting in my world, went to the birthday party last week-end and was exposed to stomach flu...thanks wonderful family.  My middle daughter and I were affected...lucky us...hey it aided in my weight loss goals ;) HA HA HA
We did take the kids sledding...FUN!!!  They had a blast, they were so cold, rosy cheeked, and so happy ...so cute!!
I love my babies (big girls really). 
I am getting ready to start back up with my Jillian Michaels workout on Monday and I can't wait!! Then next week I will do another weigh in-I can do this....I CAN DO THIS.  For the first time in a long time I have the confidence to say it and do it.  Changes are noticeable and I am happy.
Blessings

Another Day, Another Dollar

Spent the day at work, it was not busy at all...in fact it usually isn't.  After our winter storm yesterday, it was even slower.  So what's a girl to do??  Well how about locate some new recipes??!!!!??   I have read that lentils are super good for you-high in fiber, high in protein!!  Well let me get investigating!!
Here is where I landed:  http://www.lentils.ca/cooking-with-lentils/canadian-lentil-cookbook
I printed off quite a few of these recipes and cannot wait to try these:
a) baked lentil biscuits
b) banana lentil muffins
c) beef and lentil burgers
and so many more!!!! 
I even got myself prepared to teach my Sunday school class tomorrow, printed off the lesson and I am good to go. 
I read my Joyce Meyer devotional today, and also read from my Serenity Book which walks me through the 12 steps of recovery used for both AA and Al-Anon.  I am loosely associated with Al-Anon to help me through the "isms" associated with my past relationship due to alcohol abuse on the part of my ex.  I am on step 4-I don't call this step a very fun one. Step 4 "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves".  Ahhhhh this is one hard step.  However the book that I am reading through gives me scriptures to help me.  Today was from Matthew 23:23-28. 
Be fair, Be faithful, Show mercy
You worry about the smallest thing but commit the biggest sin....
Well heck isn't that me in a nutshell...worry about the small things... :)
I have birthday party to go to tomorrow for my cousins baby who is turning 1.  After Church we are headed up for a afternoon visit and then hoping to get some sledding in!!!
That is the plan-hopefully it works out-love to see the smiles on the kids faces as we sled down a massive hill!!!
I love being a Mom!!!
Sending out love and prayers!!
 

February....ALREADY????

I just looked over my last blog and realized I was to start doing T-Tapp...well that hasn't happened so good thing it wasn't a "resolution" LOL ... instead I thought I would get my but kicked my none other than Jillian Michaels... http://www.amazon.ca/Jillian-Michaels-30-Day-Shred/dp/B00142UZ2G
OUCH...OUCH...OUCH...but it's WORKING!!! I am happy to report I am down a whole 5.6lbs and yes there is much more to go but I am toning, losing and overall feeling good. :)
I feel like I have blinked and we are almost at Valentines Day!  Where did the time go!?!?!
My thoughts seem to be all over the place tonight, I should have prayed first then done...a lesson I am still learning (seems that one is a tough one to get)...I tend (as most) to freak out then have that hand smacking the head moment...oh yes I was supposed to pray first....
At our women's group we are doing a 4 week Joyce Meyer study and I must tell you she is right there in your face telling you exactly and I do mean EXACTLY what's what.... http://www.joycemeyer.org/ProductDetail.aspx?id=006670
She is simply fabulous...and as I start to blog again on a more regular basis you will probably hear me speak of this wonderful human being.  She is touching on many area's that I have "stuffed" away and it's more than time to deal with it...so be prepared folks it may get really quite ugly... I think it has to get REAL ugly in order to deal with the muck.... :( 
So tonight is reserved for my prayer journal, a simple prayer to ask for God's help to heal the area's that I need to be healed and forgive where I need to forgive.
No matter how big or how small the problem is...turn it over to God he will always be right there to get you through it, even when you don't believe he is beside you those are the times he is carrying you.
May you be blessed and be a blessing today and everyday!

Another year gone, Christmas packed away :(

Let's get the resolution list going...blah blah blah...lose weight, eat healthier, save more money, etc..etc.. am I touching a nerve here?
Truth be told I refuse...REFUSE to make a New Years Resolution.  The pressure of making a New Years Resolution immediately sets you up to fail.  I am making lifestyle changes (my fancy wording for New Years Resolution).  I am making healthier choices when it comes to eating-am I giving up my treats..NO.  Will I deny myself something if I really really want it...NO.  But overall I will eat more salads, and make wiser choices.  Am I going to increase my physical activity...YES. 
Hello Rodney Yee AM/PM Yoga (once again)- http://www.gaiam.com/yoga/rodney-yee/am-pm-yoga-for-beginners/05-54142,default,pd.html
and Welcome T-Tapp http://www.t-tapp.com/ to my life.  I have a friend (truthfully) who has toned and lost weight doing this program so I thought why the heck not.
I am going to continue doing my Zumba class-how I LOVE Zumba!!!  And now the final and last "resolution" I mentioned...saving money...I came across the coolest money saving guideline today and if you follow it by the end of the year (52 weeks) you will have saved a total of 1378$ and it's most definitely doable.  Check it out below:

See simple right?

Okay enough with the resolutions...oh except for these 2 "little"...not so little but I won't go into details except to say-I will and need to spend more time with Jesus, in the word and to journal.  I also need to continue to go to my Al-anon meeting and continue to build me back up...work on me.  The better I am, the better everyone around me is!!!
Would love to hear what everyone else's resolutions are big or small, crazy or mainstream!!! 
Sweetest dreams to all you wonderful folks....Happy New Year and God Bless!11